Weddings are Spiritual.
Marriage or पाणिग्रहण (Paanigrahana — as we call it in Sanskrit) is one of the oldest and sacred tradition in almost all the cultures. Since it is in all cultures, it is obviously beyond religions or nation states. Paanigrahna simply means two partners accepting or holding each other's hand — irrespective of their orientations or affiliations. Since it is a universal tradition, it is by definition spiritual. Spirituality means something that is present beyond the man made barriers — something omnipresent across cultures. In a way, weddings are by definition, spiritual events.
Weddings are the gateway to the family.
In every culture, family is seen as the cradle to spirituality. Family is the place to hone fine emotions of love, care, respect and sacrifice that define the fabric of spirituality. And in almost every culture, weddings are the "gateway" to the “family”. They are the founding stones of marriages. Wedding is the event that culminates into a lifelong union called "marriage".
There are different ways to conduct the wedding ceremonies — a Vaikik ceremony is one of them, but more importantly it’s a commitment to look out for each other. Even if there is no ceremony, the spiritual sense is to stand by each other through thick and thin — holding each other’s hand — Paanigrahana.
Vaidik Wedding ceremony
When we think about a spiritual way to conduct a wedding ceremony, The obvious choice is to look at Vedic scriptures. Being the oldest written text, they are from a time before these barriers (of religion, race, color or nations) even came into being. They, by default, represent spirituality. Rig Veda — the oldest of four Vedas — has a complete chapter dedicated to the ritual of wedding — chapter 85 of tenth book (Sookta). The 47 verses of this chapter describes a wedding through an example — the wedding of Soma and Surya — two mythical characters. It is worth reading even without a ceremony — purely for its superior poetry. In a way, this divine wedding was the first fully documented wedding — a wedding registered in Rig Veda itself.
These verses from those primordial texts, bring the best of Sanskrit poetry in expressing the essence of a spiritual union. And they seem relevant even today.
The first verse is from is to mark the beginning of the wedding ceremony. It is a blessing from all those present for this beautiful union.
इहेमाविन्द्र सं नुद चक्रवाकेव दम्पती ।
प्रजयौनौ स्वस्तकौ विस्वमायुर्व्यऽशनुताम् ॥
O Lord ! May you bring together this newly married couple in the same manner as a pair of Chakravaka birds. Chakravaka is a duck. In India, we call it a Brahmini duck, which means a sacred duck.
Let them enjoy marital bliss, and along with their kids, live a full life.
The second verse is about the bride’s expression love. This is how she views this union. She believes that marriage in itself is a universe. She and the groom are two halves of the “entirety”.
धैरहं पृथिवीत्वम् ।
रेतोऽहं रेतोभृत्त्वम् ।
मनोऽहमस्मि वाक्त्वम् ।
सामाहमस्मि ऋकृत्वम् ।
सा मां अनुव्रता भव ।
I am the sky and you are the earth.
I radiate life energy and you hold it to manifest things.
I am the mind and you are the word.
I am Saama — the music, and you are the Song — Rrik.
You and I follow each other.
In the third verse, the bride wishes for a long union. She trusts the groom for his foresight ..
तच्चक्षु॑र्दे॒वहि॑तं शु॒क्रमु॒च्चर॑त् |
पश्ये॑म श॒रद॑: श॒तं, जीवे॑म श॒रद॑: श॒तम् ॥
Your auspicious foresight (in this union) is bright and rising.
May we see it together for a hundred winters; may we live a hundred years. (RV 7.66.16 Vasishtha)
In the fourth verse, the groom commits to be a caring partner to the bride.
धर्मेच अर्थेच कामेच इमां नातिचरामि ।
धर्मेच अर्थेच कामेच इमं नातिचरामि ॥
In my duty, in my financial commitments, in my needs, I will consult you.
I will take your consent and act upon.
In the fifth verse, the groom now thanks the Gods for bringing the bride into his life.
गृभ्णामि ते सौभगत्वाय हस्तं मया पत्या जरदष्टिर्यथासः ।
भगो अर्यमा सविता पुरंधिर्मह्यं त्वादुर्गार्हपत्याय देवाः ॥
I take your hand for good fortune that we attain old age with me being your partner.
The Enjoyment [Bhaga], Aspiration [Aryaman], Creativity [Savitar] and Completeness [Purandhri] have united us for the performance of our duties as householders.
(RV 10.85.36)
In the sixth verse, they wish to never lose each other. Marriage is the ultimate manifestation of friendship.
सखा सप्तपदा भव ।
सखायौ सप्तपदा बभूव ।
सख्यं ते गमेयम् ।
सख्यात् ते मायोषम् ।
सख्यान्मे मयोष्ठाः ।
Having taken seven steps with me,
Please accept my friendship.
We are taking seven steps together, so let me cherish our friendship.
Don’t let me ever stay away from friendship.
The last verse is one of the most sacred verses for ‘coming-together’ of two souls in love.
ॐ सह नाववतु ।
सह नौ भुनक्तु ।
सह वीर्यं करवावहै ।
तेजस्वि नावधीतमस्तु मा विद्विषावहै ।
ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॥
May we two move together
May we two relish together
May we perform with Vigor,
May we never indulge in disputes.
Peace and peace to all