Weddings are Spiritual.
Marriage or पाणिग्रहण (Paanigrahana — as we call it in Sanskrit) is one of the oldest and sacred tradition in almost all the cultures. Since it is in all cultures, it is obviously beyond religions or nation states. Paanigrahna simply means two partners accepting or holding each other's hand — irrespective of their orientations or affiliations. Since it is a universal tradition, it is by definition spiritual. Spirituality means something that is present beyond the man made barriers — something omnipresent across cultures. In a way, weddings are by definition, spiritual events.
Weddings are the gateway to the family.
In every culture, family is seen as the cradle to spirituality. Family is the place to hone fine emotions of love, care, respect and sacrifice that define the fabric of spirituality. And in almost every culture, weddings are the "gateway" to the “family”. They are the founding stones of marriages. Wedding is the event that culminates into a lifelong union called "marriage".
There are different ways to conduct the wedding ceremonies — a Vaikik ceremony is one of them, but more importantly it’s a commitment to look out for each other. Even if there is no ceremony, the spiritual sense is to stand by each other through thick and thin — holding each other’s hand — Paanigrahana.
Vaidik Wedding ceremony
When we think about a spiritual way to conduct a wedding ceremony, The obvious choice is to look at Vedic scriptures. Being the oldest written text, they are from a time before these barriers (of religion, race, color or nations) even came into being. They, by default, represent spirituality. Rig Veda — the oldest of four Vedas — has a complete chapter dedicated to the ritual of wedding — chapter 85 of tenth book (Sookta). The 47 verses of this chapter describes a wedding through an example — the wedding of Soma and Surya — two mythical characters. It is worth reading even without a ceremony — purely for its superior poetry. In a way, this divine wedding was the first fully documented wedding — a wedding registered in Rig Veda itself.
These verses from those primordial texts, bring the best of Sanskrit poetry in expressing the essence of a spiritual union. And they seem relevant even today.
The first verse is from is to mark the beginning of the wedding ceremony. It is a blessing from all those present for this beautiful union.
इहेमाविन्द्र सं नुद चक्रवाकेव दम्पती ।
प्रजयौनौ स्वस्तकौ विस्वमायुर्व्यऽशनुताम् ॥
O Lord ! May you bring together this newly married couple in the same manner as a pair of Chakravaka birds. Chakravaka is a duck. In India, we call it a Brahmini duck, which means a sacred duck.
Let them enjoy marital bliss, and along with their kids, live a full life.
The second verse is about the bride’s expression love. This is how she views this union. She believes that marriage in itself is a universe. She and the groom are two halves of the “entirety”.
धैरहं पृथिवीत्वम् ।
रेतोऽहं रेतोभृत्त्वम् ।
मनोऽहमस्मि वाक्त्वम् ।
सामाहमस्मि ऋकृत्वम् ।
सा मां अनुव्रता भव ।
I am the sky and you are the earth.
I radiate life energy and you hold it to manifest things.
I am the mind and you are the word.
I am Saama — the music, and you are the Song — Rrik.
You and I follow each other.
In the third verse, the bride wishes for a long union. She trusts the groom for his foresight ..
तच्चक्षु॑र्दे॒वहि॑तं शु॒क्रमु॒च्चर॑त् |
पश्ये॑म श॒रद॑: श॒तं, जीवे॑म श॒रद॑: श॒तम् ॥
Your auspicious foresight (in this union) is bright and rising.
May we see it together for a hundred winters; may we live a hundred years. (RV 7.66.16 Vasishtha)
In the fourth verse, the groom commits to be a caring partner to the bride.
धर्मेच अर्थेच कामेच इमां नातिचरामि ।
धर्मेच अर्थेच कामेच इमं नातिचरामि ॥
In my duty, in my financial commitments, in my needs, I will consult you.
I will take your consent and act upon.
In the fifth verse, the groom now thanks the Gods for bringing the bride into his life.
गृभ्णामि ते सौभगत्वाय हस्तं मया पत्या जरदष्टिर्यथासः ।
भगो अर्यमा सविता पुरंधिर्मह्यं त्वादुर्गार्हपत्याय देवाः ॥
I take your hand for good fortune that we attain old age with me being your partner.
The Enjoyment [Bhaga], Aspiration [Aryaman], Creativity [Savitar] and Completeness [Purandhri] have united us for the performance of our duties as householders.
(RV 10.85.36)
In the sixth verse, they wish to never lose each other. Marriage is the ultimate manifestation of friendship.
सखा सप्तपदा भव ।
सखायौ सप्तपदा बभूव ।
सख्यं ते गमेयम् ।
सख्यात् ते मायोषम् ।
सख्यान्मे मयोष्ठाः ।
Having taken seven steps with me,
Please accept my friendship.
We are taking seven steps together, so let me cherish our friendship.
Don’t let me ever stay away from friendship.
The last verse is one of the most sacred verses for ‘coming-together’ of two souls in love.
ॐ सह नाववतु ।
सह नौ भुनक्तु ।
सह वीर्यं करवावहै ।
तेजस्वि नावधीतमस्तु मा विद्विषावहै ।
ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॥
May we two move together
May we two relish together
May we perform with Vigor,
May we never indulge in disputes.
Peace and peace to all
When we started thinking about this wedding, at the outset, we all wanted a spiritual ceremony. Huges follows Swami Praznapada as his spiritual Guru. Both Henry and Aakriti supported the idea. In addition they wanted the ceremony to be meaningful and succinct. The curious quetion then was to tailor a befitting ceremony that truly represented this beautiful cross cultural union.
The obvious rationale was to look at the Vaidik scriptures - because being among the oldest written documents, they are beyond any religion, race or color. They are by default spritual - just like this beautiful unification of two cultures.
When I looked up, I found in Rig Veda, the oldest of four Vedas, there is a complete chapter dedicated to the ritual of wedding - Paani grahna as we call it in Sanskrit. It describes a wedding through an example. The Paanigrahana ceremony of the Moon Soma with Sun's daughter Surya - two mythical characters. The wedding procession that you saw earlier this afternoon, bears it's roots in this chapter of Rig Veda. When Soma went to seek Surya's hand in marriage, his friends and family celebrated the occasion, dancing around their chariot. It is almost seven thousand years old tradition - give or take!
So, I have chosen few verses from this primordial wedding. A wedding registered in Rigveda itself. The first fully documented wedding. And I have taken the liberty to add few from my own wedding, back in the day with Anjali - my wife. Probably thanks to those mantras me and Anjali are bleassed with Aakriti.
The way we are going to do it is, I will request Huges - Henry's dad, and host of this ceremony, to provide a quick synopsis for the French audience, and then I will recite the verses with English translation. We will also request the bride and the groom to take a circle of the candles with each verse. The circle around the fire has a deeper meaning .. but for now its a signature. Its a signature that both the bride and the groom fully understand , appreciate and approve the recital. After seven circles of auspecious bonds, the bride and the groom will have their vows, in their own words, to transition into the role of a "husband" and a "wife"! Thereafter we will have Huges talk about the five secrets of a successsful modern matrimony based on Vaidik principles taught to him by Swami Paznapada.
Invocation - First verse
Aakriti and Henry, we all have come together here for your transition into the role of husband and wife. This first verse is a wish from all of us present here for this beautiful union at this beautiful location.
It says
Ihemavindra Samnudam Chakravakev Dampati;
Prajyouno Swastikou Vismayurvya Ashnutaam.
O Lord, may you bring this couple together, like a pair of Charavaka birds. Chakravaka is a duck. In India we call it a Brahmini duck. Which means a sacred duck.
So Hey lord, please bring this couple together like a pair of Chakravaka ducks. Let them enjoy the marital bliss and live a long life along with their progeny. Their kids , and of course their pets :-)
What is Paanigrahana. - second verse
Talking about traditions, wedding - or Paanigrahna , as we call it Sanskrit, is one of the oldest and among the most sacred tradition ... in almost all the culture. Since it is a universal tradition, it is by definition, spiritual. Spirituality is something that goes beyond, the man made differences. Something omnipresent across all the cultures. Thus weddings are, by definition, spiritual events. The word Paani grahna aptly captures this essence. It simply means two partners, accepting each other's hand. Two partners holding each other's hand, irrespective of their orientations or affiliations - boneded with spiritual love.
So this next verse is bride's expression of पानिगरहणा. She says ..
Dhairham Prithvitvam;
Raitoham, raitobritvam;
Manohamsmi Vaaktvam;
Saamasmi Rikarvam;
Sa Mam, Anuvrata bhav.
It is beautiful Sanskrit poetry and the meaning is equally powerful. It means
I am the sky, you are the earth;
I radiate energy and you hold it to manifest things in this physical world;
I am the thought (Mana) and you are the words.
I am Saama the music, and you are Rika the song
I and you follow each other.
So Aakriti, if you understood the meaning of Paani Granhna, then you may lead Henry for a circle around the fire.
Third verse
The third verse is bride's expression of Trust in this union.
The idea of spiritual love, Paanigrahna is even more relevent for this wedding because this wedding not only goes beyond the man made differences, it brings two of the most ancient cultures together bridging West and the East. When I started thinking about the differences, I found there are more similarities between Frence and Indian cultures than what appears on the surface. India is a culture of "color" - as you can see in the colors of our clothes. France is a culture of "Style". French poise compliments Indian vibrance. But more importantly both the cultures evoke a unique sense of spirituality. And they deem families are the cradles to these beautiful spiritual emotions. Emotions of love, care, respect and sacrifice .. and trust. They also believe that weddings are the gateways to the families.
This verse expresses the Trust that underpins a family. Written by Maharishi Vasishtha , it is one of my favorite.
The bride says
Tat Chakshuh Devhitam, Shukram Uccharta;
Pashyema Shardah Shatam, Jeevema Shardah Shatam.
Your foresight , your auspecious vision of this union is bright and rising.
May we see it together for hundred years. May we live together for hundred years.
So Aakriti, this trust also brings hope. It is not about the past - it is about what you two can be in next ten years. What you can accomplish together in next hundred years.. You may take Henry around for a circle of fire with this hopefulness and trust.
Fourth Verse
Having moved with bride's expression of Trust, the groom now makes worldly commitments. In the fourth verse he says
Dharmecha Arthecha Kaamecha, Imam Naticharami;
Dharmecha Arthecha Kaamecha, Imum Naticharami.
In my Duties (Dharmecha), In my finacial responsibilities (Arthecha) and in my physical needs (Kaamecha), I will always consult you. I will actively seek and act based on your consensus.
So Henry, you now know who to talk to before you buy the next video game ! or look to invest another fortune in a new Guitar! If you are down with these commits , you may lead Aakroti for a circle of fire.
Fifth verse
And also moved with bride's expression of spiritual love, the groom thanks the Gods for this good fortune. He thanks the deities for bringing the bride to his life. He says ..
Gribhnami te Soubhagstvay, Hastam Maya Patya Jardishtirysthasa;
Bhago Aryama Savita Purandhir Mayama Tva Durgahptyay Devah.
I thank the deities of enjoyment (Bhaga) , deity of wisdom (Aryama) and the deity of the creative force (Savitaru) for bringing you in my life. Not only these deities , I thank the entire universe Purandhir a name of Bramha , for the good fortune of being together till we get very very old - or till death do us apart.
Sixth verse
The sixth verse is the celebration of companionship. They wish not to lose this friendship even if they lose everything else.
Sakha Saptpada Bhav;
Sakhayou Saptpada Babhoove;
Sakhyam Te Gameyam
Sakyat te Mayosham
Sakhyanme Mayoshthah
Oh friend we are taking seven steps together.
Having gotten the taste of your company, I am enchanted with the magic of your companionship.
It's you who I always talk about. Your conversations are always on my lips.
Please never let me stay away from your company.